Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
