it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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