no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
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