is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
