you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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