IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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