butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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