R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
