You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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