who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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