sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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