Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I will be naked everywhere
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I still have a little drunk in my system
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
