those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
