I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
