She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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