please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
