my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
