We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
