I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize
