fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
