I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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