we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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