I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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