i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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