It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
