y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize