my mouth tastes like poor choices
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
