Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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