Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
