Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize