thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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