mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
