jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
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