I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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