plz talk dirty to me
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
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