Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
