i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize
