Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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