There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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