It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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