I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
