Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
