her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
