it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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