I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
