She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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