I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
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