doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
