Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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