I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
