OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
