They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
