you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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