he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
