And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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