margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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