You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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