somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
