I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
