We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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