Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
