She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
