last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize