I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
bring money and cleavage
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
