That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
