Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
