I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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