so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize