she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
