I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
love makes seman taste better
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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