I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
