She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We have so much sex to catch up on
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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