remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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