ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
