I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
