theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
