More tranny stories later!
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Randomize