i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
