i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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