so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
