explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize