idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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